Feast of the Holy Family- Alcoholism, Mental Illness & Drugs that Plague Families

 

 Today is the feast of the Holy Family of Nazareth, Jesus, Mary and Joseph. Today’s Gospel of the Finding of Jesus in the Temple is both a sorrowful and joyful event.

In the Gospel today, we see a moment of tension in The Holy Family-- as Jesus is lost and then three days later is found in the Temple. Joseph and Mary did not know where Jesus was-- and had been sorrowing for three days. When they found the Child Jesus in the temple, they are filled with joy and relieved to have their family crisis resolved.

At the time of Christ, all Jewish men were required to make a pilgrimage to the Temple in Jerusalem. The men often brought their families, with men and women traveling in separate group. So a child may be with the mother’s group or with the father’s group. Because of these separate groups, the absence of Jesus in the caravan was not immediately noticed. Mary would have thought Jesus was with Joseph and Joseph may have though He was with Mary.

In this event Jesus was not disobedient to Mary and Joseph. Nor did He sin by remaining behind. Mary and Joseph didn’t sin either. Jesus’ greatest duty was to His heavenly Father, which surpasses His duty towards His earthly parents. If the Holy Family suffered from misunderstandings, from trials, sorrows, and difficulties that had nothing to do with sin, how much more do our families suffer from these sorts of things, which include sin.

Every family has times when it’s difficult to forgive someone, or when there is great anxiety and worry. Sometimes family members can very much hurt each other. There can be jealousy and unhealthy competitions. Children get caught in parental fighting. Someone may spend money irrationally. Maybe one parent favors one child over another. Or a parent spends too much time at work. One person’s unforgiveness towards another-- affects the entire family. Sometimes a family member will refuse to talk to others, or won’t show up for family gatherings. I heard a priest one time say, the definition of a family, is “a bunch of sinners, who try to live together in love.”  St. Paul tells us how to live together in love: with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, patience, bearing with one another, forgiving one another.

Today, there are so many different things that can cause stress in the family. I would like to focus today on alcoholism, mental illness and drug addiction.

My father and grandfather were alcoholics. My father eventually went to a treatment center, and attended AA meetings. He was very well known throughout Kansas helping lots of alcoholics attain sobriety. He was the best father anyone could have. I am proud how my father carried his cross. But his alcoholism was one of the family crosses. Alcoholics can become saints by striving to a live a life of virtue. St. Monica was an alcoholic and so was venerable Matt Talbot.

With regard to mental illness, it can be caused by a head injury or a traumatic accident, or the use of medications or illegal drugs and sometimes its unknown what causes it. My brother is mentally ill due to a traumatic brain injury. He was attacked when he was a security guard. Those who are mentally ill or often misunderstood feel alone and unable to fit into society. St. Benedict Joseph Labore was mentally ill and he became a saint.

Alcoholism and mental illness can be inherited and so there is really nobody to blame.

There is also drugs. High school youth can be tempted by friends to take marijuana. Its sinful to take marijuana and drugs because they can influence our ability to think rationally and make moral choices. Some may say well its legal. But not all laws are good moral laws. Taking marijuana just one time-- can start an addiction, which can lead to fentanyl, cocaine or heroine addiction. In a short period of time-- he or she can accidentally over dose and die. Did you know the number one killer of people between ages 18 and 45 is accidental overdosing on drugs. These drugs are not made in laboratories, but in the homes of drug addicts or drug lords. Young people, don’t take marijuana or any drug, not even just once, because you can become addicted for the rest of your life-- by taking it just one time. Just say no!

I did hospital ministry for 4 years and everyday I saw the mentally ill and patients addicted to drugs and alcohol. Some mental illness is caused by drugs, which damages the brain and so their life can end up ruined. They can’t hold down a job. Their marriage will fail. They can end up homeless.

A high school altar server in a previous parish was an outstanding young man. He excelled in sports and academics. Some of his friends gave him some marijuana and now at 19 years old, he’s addicted to marijuana and fentanyl. This past November, he overdosed twice. His mother found him unconscious and barely breathing. She did CPR and saved his life. He was in ICU and now is in a drug rehabilitation center. Its his second rehab center. Often times, I see people in and out of rehab. This would be the last family, I ever thought this would happen. But the devil is wicked and he tempts us through friends to do something evil and lead us in the wrong direction.

To be addicted to drugs and end up homeless, what a terrible sorrow for the addicted person and the family. Imagine the parents not knowing where their child is, under a bridge, in an abandoned shed, if he or she dead or alive. Truly a nightmare for everyone involved.

We should never judge others. Its easy for us to say, why don’t you just stop drinking, or stop taking drugs or why don’t you join in with everyone else. But they try and try and try and just can’t help their condition. But if they embrace their cross, even though they may drop it frequently, they will have a glorious crown in heaven. St. Mark Ji Tianxiang a doctor in 19th century China became addicted to opiates after taking them to treat a stomach ailment and by his virtous perseverance, he’s now a saint.

On our part, we should support them and help them to carry their cross, which becomes a family cross. And all must learn to do our part to carry it. Its not just their cross. Its our cross, our family cross. We are all in it together. Each of us can have a different role. 1. One who listens 2. One who prays 3. One who encourages.

There is hope for alcoholics and drug addicts. There is a fantastic drug and alcohol organization called Cenaculo. Surprisingly it is free. It costs nothing. Cenaculo relies on the generosity of donors. It can help both alcoholics and drug addicts to live normal lives. They have the highest success rate. It’s Catholic, they have Mass, Confession, Adoration, the Rosary, and they work together.

Because we are all human, and because all of us sin, there will always be difficulty or strife to endure. Every family has particular graces and blessings and joys and every family also has difficulties, crosses and sorrows.

Fr. Peyton, the famous television priest, used to say, “The family that prays together, stays together.” To attend Mass together, to go to confession together as a family and to pray every night helps the family to stay together.

All we have to do is ask each person what they want to pray for, or what they are thankful for and then close with an Our Father, Hail Mary and Glory and eventually maybe work up to praying the Rosary together.

Today, may we imitate the Holy Family, and ask them to help our families persevere through trials, every difficulty and protect our families.