Take Courage it is I, Do not Be Afraid!
Sometimes we expect God to suddenly shout to let us know He answered our prayer by overwhelming us. But God usually does not work that way. Jesus comes to us in simple ways.
In the first reading, the Lord was not in the fire, nor the strong heavy wind, nor the earthquake. Rather, He was in the tiny whispering sound in the silence of the cave. Jesus comes to us in the silent movement of the heart.
Just think of all the things we worry about: parents worried about their children, people worried about their health or that of others, farmers worrying about the weather or their livestock, financial worries, worries about relationships, worries about so many different things.
From time to time, we all feel frightened like the disciples in the boat and like them we cry out in fear. But just as in today’s Gospel, Jesus comes to us and says, “Take courage; it is I! Do not be afraid.”
Was Jesus ever afraid? Did Jesus ever worry? Yes, He did. And what did he do when He had worries and how did He cope?
On two occasions in the Gospel we see Jesus afraid. On each of the two occasions he prayed to his Father and in prayer he got the strength to continue and face the difficult situation. In Gethsemane, the night before His crucifixion, He prayed to His Father to let the cup, (His passion), pass Him by. Jesus’ prayer was answered because He got the strength to face His passion, “Not my will, but yours be done.”
On another occasion, also thinking of His passion, Jesus said, “Now my soul is troubled.” (John 12:27) Imagine Jesus saying, “Now my soul is troubled.” It is perhaps a bit of a shock but on this occasion He prayed to His Father and recovered His strength during prayer. When troubles and worries come our way, we turn to Jesus.
Have you ever been afraid of something and didn't understand why? I had this experience as a priest. When I was ordained and began my first assignment at St. Elizabeth Ann Seton in Wichita, I was terrified to stand before such a large number of people. At times, Masses had over 1000 people in attendance.
As I began the homily, fear would become more intense. I remember grabbing the pulpit so hard that it caused pain in my fingers. At every Mass, I had this tremendous fear, most especially during the homily. This continued every day up until about 8 years ago, when I went on a retreat and decided to do the St. Ignatius prayer method.
Before I began the prayer, I said this simple prayer, "Jesus, why am I so frightened to stand before a group people, most especially when I give homilies?"
As I began to pray, I pictured Jesus and Mary standing in front of me. They were looking at me and I was looking at them. Then I remembered something that happened when I was a child, that I hadn't thought of for many years.
When I was in 4th grade the school had a play. I had no part in it, except I was just in the background with most of the other kids. That is until the day before the play began, our music teacher came up to me, and said, "Jeff is sick and he can't do his part in the play. Will you play his part?"
I was horrified because Jeff was one of the main characters, and said, "Mrs. Lewand, I can't memorize all those parts by tomorrow." She said, "You don't have to. The other main character, Tim, knows both his part and your part too. He will whisper what you are to say and then you just say it out loud" I said, "Oh, that's great. That will be easy!" The next night as the play began, Tim said his part and then he said my part, and I repeated it.
However, there was a big problem. Tim didn't whisper. He said my part out-loud and then I repeated what he said. What do you think the audience did? They laughed every time I spoke. As the play went on, I became more and more embarrassed. When the play was over, I went behind the curtains and cried my head off.
The teacher came up to me and said, "Why are you crying? Everyone loved the play. You did a great job!" I responded, saying, "No, I ruined the play because everyone was laughing whenever I spoke."
As I remembered this event that happened so many years ago, I felt all the emotions that went with it. Most especially, I was embarrassed and angry and felt stupid.
But because I was in the presence of Jesus and when all these emotions died out before Our Lord, I had peace.
To my astonishment, Jesus healed me from that fear I had as a child and had through my whole life.
Now I am no longer afraid to speak before a crowd. I had this problem of fear from 3rd grade until I was 56 years. And I was healed, thank you Jesus!
Just as Jesus invited Peter to step out of the boat saying, "Come!", Jesus invites us to give Him our fears.
According to scholars, the apostles were in the boat from afternoon until at the fourth watch of the night, most likely they were battling the storm for 10 to 12 hours because the storm was preventing them from making it to shore. They must have been exhausted and afraid they were going to die. Amazingly, Peter had the faith to ask the Lord to walk on the water and he got out of the boat and began to walk on it, until the he saw how strong the wind was and began to sink, crying out, "Lord, save me!"
Jesus stretched out His hand and helped him into the boat and immediately the wind and waves suddenly calmed.
This is what we are to do, to have the faith to step out and trust Jesus, and ask Him to take away our fears, knowing He till take us by the hand and give us peace.
The way the prayer method works, is you invite Jesus to come into fear or memory and to heal it.
When troubles come our way, we may be tempted to forget that God is still with us. It is strange really, but that is what happens to so many people when they get upset. They think God doesn't pay attention to us. But that is not so. God is always with us. We cannot always rely on our feelings, and we can rely on them still less when there is something bothering us. As the storm is raging, Jesus is walking towards us, just as He walked on the water toward the Apostles.
The truth is that Jesus is with us always, whether or not we feel His presence. Jesus was standing by me all those years whenever I gave a homily or stood before any crowd and was fearful. But, Jesus waited for me to invite Him to remove that fear, and heal those emotions caused by the play, when I was a little child and He did.
My friends, all you have to do is picture in your mind what is reality, and that Jesus and Mary are always with you and looking at you, and all you need to do is invite them to come into whatever emotion or event from the past that needs to be healed. And allow yourself to experience those emotions such as fear, guilt, sadness, embarrassment, anger, etc.
Don’t ever forget that Jesus and Mary are always with you no matter what your feelings tell you. God and Mary will not abandon you.
Remember to trust Jesus in time of fear, worry and anxiety, as Saint Padre Pio said, "Pray, hope, and don't worry. Worry is useless. God is merciful and will hear your prayer."
