Take
Courage it is I, Do not Be Afraid!
Sometimes
we expect God to suddenly shout to let us know He answered our prayer
by overwhelming us. But God usually does not work that way. Jesus
comes to us in simple ways.
In
the first reading, the Lord was not in the fire, nor the strong heavy
wind, nor the earthquake. Rather, He was in the tiny whispering sound
in the silence of the cave. Jesus comes to us in the silent movement
of the heart.
Just
think of all the things we worry about: parents worried about their
children, people worried about their health or that of others,
farmers worrying about the weather or their livestock, or crops, or
financial worries, worries about relationships, worries a job, about
so many different things.
From
time to time, we all feel frightened like the disciples in the boat
and like them we cry out in fear. But just as in today’s Gospel,
Jesus comes to us and says, “Take courage; it is I! Do not be
afraid.”
Was
Jesus ever afraid? Did Jesus ever worry? Yes, He did. And what did he
do when He had worries and how did He cope?
On
two occasions in the Gospel we see Jesus afraid. On each of the two
occasions he prayed to his Father and in prayer he got the strength
to continue and face the difficult situation. In Gethsemane, the
night before His crucifixion, He prayed to His Father to let the cup,
pass Him by. Jesus’ prayer was answered because He got the strength
to face His passion, “Not my will, but yours be done.”
On
another occasion, also thinking of His passion, Jesus said, “Now
my soul is troubled.” (John 12:27)On this occasion He prayed to
His Father and recovered His strength during prayer. When troubles
and worries come our way, we turn to Jesus.
Have
you ever been afraid of something and didn't know why? I had this
experience as a priest. When I was ordained and began my first
assignment at St. Elizabeth Ann Seton in Wichita, I was terrified to
stand before such a large number of people. At times, Masses had over
1000 people in attendance.
As
I began the homily, fear would become more intense. I remember
grabbing the pulpit so hard that it caused pain in my fingers. At
every Mass, I had this tremendous fear, most especially during the
homily. This continued every day up until about 8 years ago, when I
went on a retreat and decided to do the St. Ignatius prayer method.
Before
I began the prayer, I said this simple prayer, "Jesus, why am
I so frightened to stand before a group people, most especially when
I give homilies?"
As
I began to pray, I pictured Jesus and Mary standing in front of me.
They were looking at me and I was looking at them. Then I remembered
something that happened when I was a child, that I hadn't thought of
for many years.
When
I was in 4th grade the school had a play. I had no part in it, except
I was just in the background with most of the other kids. That is
until the day before the play began, our music teacher came up to me,
and said, "Jeff is sick and he can't do his part in the play.
Will you play his part?"
I
was horrified because Jeff was one of the main characters, and said,
"Mrs. Lewand, I can't memorize all those parts by tomorrow."
She said, "You don't have to. The other main character, Tim,
knows both his part and your part too. He will
whisper what you are to say and then you just say it
out loud" I said, "Oh, that's great. That
will be easy!" The next night as the play
began, Tim said his part and then he said my part, and I repeated it.
However,
there was a big problem. Tim didn't whisper. He said my part out-loud
and then I repeated what he said. What do you think the audience did?
They laughed every time I spoke. As the play went on, I became more
and more embarrassed. When the play was over, I went behind the
curtains and cried my head off.
The
teacher came up to me and said, "Why are you crying? Everyone
loved the play. You did a great job!" I responded, saying,
"No, I ruined the play because everyone was laughing."
As
I remembered this event that happened so many years ago, I felt all
the emotions that went with it. Most especially, I was embarrassed
and angry and felt stupid.
But
because I was in the presence of Jesus and when all these emotions
died out before Our Lord, I had peace.
To
my astonishment, Jesus healed me from the fear I had through my whole
life.
Now
I am no longer afraid to speak before a crowd. I had this problem of
fear from 3rd grade until I was 56 years. And I was healed, thank you
Jesus!
Just
as Jesus invited Peter to step out of the boat saying, "Come!",
Jesus invites us to give Him our fears.
According
to scholars, the apostles were in the boat from noon until at the
fourth watch of the night, most likely they were battling the storm
for 10 to 12 hours because the storm was preventing them from making
it to shore. They must have been exhausted and afraid they were going
to die. Amazingly, Peter had the faith to ask the Lord to walk on the
water and he got out of the boat and began to walk, until he saw how
strong the wind and began to sink, crying out, "Lord, save
me!"
Jesus
stretched out His hand and helped him into the boat and immediately
the wind and waves suddenly calmed.
This
is what we are to do, to have the faith to step out and trust Jesus,
and ask Him to take away our fears, knowing He till take us by the
hand and give us peace.
The
way the prayer method works, is you invite Jesus to come into fear or
memory and to heal it. You can use the prayer for other emotions such
as anger, sadness, or any traumatic event you may have experienced.
When
troubles come our way, we may be tempted to forget that God is still
with us. It is strange really, but that is what happens to so many
people when they get upset. They think God doesn't pay attention. But
that is not so. God is always with us. We cannot always rely on our
feelings, and we can rely on them still less when there is something
bothering us. As the storm in our heart is raging, Jesus is walking
towards us, just as He walked on the water toward the Apostles.
The
truth is that Jesus is with us always, whether or not we feel His
presence. Jesus was standing by me all those years whenever I gave a
homily or stood before any crowd and was fearful. But, Jesus waited
for me to invite Him to remove that fear, and heal those emotions
caused by the play, when I was a little child and He did. I did not
even know what was causing the fear until Jesus helped me to recall
the memory.
My
friends, all you have to do is picture in your mind what is reality,
that Jesus and Mary are always with you and looking at you, and all
you need to do is invite them to come into whatever emotion or event
from the past that needs to be healed. And allow yourself to
experience those emotions such as fear, guilt, sadness,
embarrassment, anger, etc.
Don’t
ever forget that Jesus and Mary are always with you no matter what
your feelings tell you. Jesus and Mary will not abandon you.
Remember
to trust Jesus in time of fear, worry and anxiety, as Saint Padre Pio
said, "Pray, hope, and don't worry. Worry is useless. God is
merciful and will hear your prayer."