4th Sunday - Loss of a Child

Lord I wanted to hold my little one on my lap, and tell them about you. But since I never had the chance, will you please hold them on your lap and tell them about me?

 In the first reading, the prophet Jeremiah said, “Before I formed you in the womb, I knew you. Before you were born I dedicated you, a prophet to the nations I appointed you.” Before Jeremiah was born, he was dedicated to God and someday as a prophet, would speak on behalf of God. King Zedekiah didn’t want to hear what Jeremiah said and threw him into a well and eventually killed him. This reading also prefigures Jesus. Before He was conceived in the womb of Mary, He was dedicated as the future Messiah who would come to save us from our sins and would be THE prophet sent to the nations, so all may have the opportunity for salvation. Like Jeremiah He was arrested and put into a dungeon and then was killed. Later in Our Lord’s life, He would describe how the Jewish people treated prophets. He said, "Jerusalem, Jerusalem! You kill the prophets and stone the messengers God has sent you!” (Matt. 23:37) And in today’s Gospel, its clearly seen how they wanted to kill Jesus because He acted as a prophet speaking on behalf of God, because He is God.

He spoke as a prophet when He said, “Today this scripture passage is fulfilled in your hearing”. The Jews knew the scripture Our Lord had just read referred to the Messiah and that’s why they couldn’t believe He was claiming to be the Messiah. They knew Him as a boy and saw Him grow into a man. That’s why they said, “Isn’t this the son of Joseph?”. They also knew the Messiah would come from Bethlehem, but they didn’t know He was born there. Jesus explains “a prophet is not accepted in His own native place” and then He said something which infuriated them. He explained how God treated non-Jews such as Naaman the Syrian, by healing his leprosy and the widow, who God miraculously fed during a famine. And yet they treat Jesus, a Jew, with contempt and try to throw Him off the cliff to kill Him. They treated Jesus, the prophet of prophets, much worse than Jeremiah and the other prophets. Followers of Jesus, who speak the truth will also be treated similarly. Anyone who speaks the truth, is speaking on behalf of God and just like Jeremiah and Jesus, others will want to do destroy them.

Last week was the anniversary of Roe vs Wade and I spoke on behalf of God about respecting life and explained a person is a person no matter how small.

Today’s readings also speak about the unborn child. The prophet Jeremiah said, “Before I formed you in the womb, I knew you.” and the psalm said, “On you I depend from birth; from my mother’s womb you are my strength.” It is certainly true all unborn children depend upon God, who is their strength.

A number of years ago, my sister had an ectopic pregnancy. The child should have passed through her Fallopian tube and then attached to her womb, but attached to the tube and started growing in the wrong place. My sister needed emergency surgery, otherwise, the growing child would cause the tube to burst and both would die. My sister had surgery to save her life, but removing the tube ended the life of the baby. It was a sad event for her, her husband and the whole family. There was nothing that could have been done, no matter what would have happened, the baby could never have lived. Yet, because the child has an immortal soul, even after death, will live forever.

It is a scientific fact, a new person is created at the moment of conception, because the child has its own DNA. As Catholics we believe God infuses an immortal soul into a child at the moment of conception. So today, my sister’s child is with God.

About a year ago, my niece became pregnant, but within a month, she had a miscarriage. She was heartbroken, as it was her first child. While I can never know the pain of a mother and father who lost a child through miscarriage, in my own heart, I grieved with them.

In December, at Holy Trinity we had a Mass for those who have lost a child through miscarriage or stillbirth or abortion. Couples lit a candle and wrote the names of the children in a book. They received a rose for each child.

A few years ago, I prepared Carla and Steve for marriage. A year after their wedding, she became pregnant. They were so excited. The doctor gave them a due date and it just so happened the day the child was to be born, their baby died before she went into labor. There was nothing I could do to console the parents, for only Jesus could do that. A year later, Carla called and said, she was pregnant and asked for prayer. She was afraid she would have another miscarriage, especially since she was pregnant with twins. The children were born early, but they were fine and a few weeks later I baptized them.

Then two years later, Carla called again and said, “Father, pray for me, I’m pregnant. This time I have triplets!” She was not taking fertility pills. We prayed much and when it came time to deliver, two of them needed to stay in the hospital for several weeks, but all were fine. About a month later, I baptized them. I told her, “Carla, you and Steve need to use Natural Family Planning, you have 5 children under the age of 3” and she said, “Yes, father, that’s our plan.”

There are times when couples need to space their children for serious reasons, such as a serious financial difficulties, or the health of a parent or a child. Or a couple with 5 children under the age of 3 years old making it very difficult to manage them.

Years ago, there was only the calendar method to space children, but it was not very accurate with regard to cycles. However, over time some accurate methods were developed. And today these methods reveal God’s plan for marriage by using Natural Family Planning. NFP is 99% effective-- much more effective than birth control and there are no risks to the mother such as cancer and no serious risks to an unborn child.

NFP is so effective it shouldn’t be used to space children except for serious reasons. NFP is open to life and there are no obstacles to a total self gift to each other. There are specially trained doctors in Wichita, who can help prevent miscarriages and help couples to conceive.

You would certainly agree it should be against the law to kill a baby after birth. Wouldn’t you agree it should be against the law to abort a baby just before birth? Or if a baby is viable baby after 24 weeks. Or against the law to abort a 15 week baby? What about a baby, who feels pain? Or has a beating heart? Would you agree it be against the law to abort a baby just after conception? If you agree with all of these, you would agree some contraceptives should be against the law. Let me explain.

What I am going to say, is not easy to say, nor is it easy for you to hear. But it needs to be said. The truth needs to be told. Did you know birth control pills, the patch and the IUD can cause the death of newly conceived babies?

Most of the time chemical birth control and also IUDs prevent conception. However, at times, a child will be conceived. It takes about 5 days for a newly conceived baby to pass through the Fallopian tube and then the child will attach to the womb. However, IUDs and chemicals used for birth control irritate the lining of the womb and the child is unable to attach and so dies and the mother did not know she was pregnant. This is why some forms of birth control should be against the law because they can cause the death of an unborn baby.

Some of you may think, why was I never told this before? How come the doctor never told me, nor the priest, nor my parents. It is quite possible, a woman using birth control such as the IUD, the patch or the pill, has lost a child or multiple children and never knew it. But someday, she when she passes into eternity, she will meet the child or children because she is their mother. How deeply heart wrenching it must be for women to hear about the dangers of contraceptives. But God is infinitely merciful. God knows you did not know about this when you were using contraceptives. Jesus wants us to give Him our sins, and wash them away forever and give us peace.

Did you know in the United States contraceptives were against the law from 1873 to 1965 until a Planned Parenthood director sued the state of Connecticut causing the Supreme Court to permit the use of contraceptives. The Griswold vs. Connecticut ruling became the foundation for Roe vs Wade. Now when Roe vs Wade is overturned, the Griswold vs Connecticut ruling will need to be overturned or amended to protect life from the moment of conception.

There are three reasons why contraceptives are seriously sinful. First, as I mentioned some contraceptives can kill unborn children just after conception. Second, it says no to God, by not being open to bringing a child into the world, if God would desire it. Third, it prevents the total gift of self to the spouse by using an obstacle.

Jesus loves you and wants you to come to Him in confession and to confess the sin of using birth control, to confess not following the Church’s teachings. To confess the possibility of losing children by birth control. To confess receiving Holy Communion sacrilegiously every time you received Communion while you used birth control. If you have never confessed these sins and they remain on your soul bring them to Jesus in confession, and He will wash them away. When having un-confessed mortal sins on our soul, we don’t receive any graces whatsoever from Holy Communion, but rather deeply offend the Lord through sacrilegious communions.

For a good confession, we need to be sorry for our sins, desire to avoid the sin in the future (to be willing to take steps to look into ways to discontinue the sinful behavior) and to make amends for the sins by doing penance.

It takes trust to use natural family planning. It takes trust to confess our sins. We trust God will take care of us, and He will give us the graces we need to live out our vocation of marriage. If we take steps, Jesus will help us and guide us. He calms the frightened lambs as we snuggle near His Sacred Heart knowing He loves us.

My friends, we are all human, we all make mistakes, and at times we make seriously wrong decisions and may not even know how serious they are until later. But we must trust in God’s mercy. Come to confession and get rid of these sins on your soul, and if you do, when you go to your judgment, you will be filled with joy because Jesus will not remember them after you confessed them.

Jesus wants to help families in their sorrows, give consolation and healing by His love and help couples to have peace with the sacred act of giving oneself to each other in love. In the bulletin specially trained doctors are listed who use NAPRO (Natural Procreative Technology) to prevent miscarriages, to help couples conceive and can help with NFP methods. Just as Jeremiah and the prophets of the Old Testament and especially Jesus the prophet of prophets were called to bare witness to the truth so are we. Jesus is counting on you to tell others the truth that contraception is wrong because it tells God no to the possibility of bringing a new person into the world, because it prevents to the total gift of self and because it can cause the death of child just after conception. Will you stand up to defend babies and help young couples to follow God’s plan for marriage and future of hope?

Jesus walks with us in our life. Is always at our side. He is part of everything we do. He supports us when we grieve, carries us when we feel like we can’t endure a situation, and He gives us hope and peace in the midst of our sorrows and our joys. He gives us strength to bare witness to the truth. As the prophet Jeremiah said, “For I know well the plans I have in mind for you—plans for your welfare and not for woe, so as to give you a future of hope.”

Today, may we ask the Virgin Mary to pray for parents who have lost a child may She comfort them and help them to have peace, She who lost Her child at the foot of the Cross knows your heartache. And pray for couples to discover God’s plan for marriage so they will have help the need when spacing children, and for those who mistakenly used birth control, may they trust in God’s mercy and through confession have peace in their hearts. I would like to close with a poem from a parent who lost a child by miscarriage.

Daddy, please don’t look so sad,
Mommy, please don’t cry.
I am in the arms of Jesus
and He sings me lullabies.

Please do not try to question God,
don’t think He is unkind.
Don’t think He sent me to you and that
He changed His mind.

You see, I am special
and I’m needed up above.
I’m the special child you gave Him,
the product of your love.

I’ll always be there with you.
So watch the sky at night.
Find the brightest star that`s gleaming.
That`s my halo’s brilliant light.

So Daddy please don’t look so sad.
Mommy, please don’t cry.
I am in the arms of Jesus.
And He sings me lullabies.

For I came from the womb of Mommy and went to God, who before I was formed-- knew me.