Holy Family

 

This weekend is the feast of the Holy Family. What I would like to do is talk about romance. By keeping romance alive it strengthens marriages. The duty of romance falls on the shoulders of the man. The virtues associated with romance include: 1. thinking about the needs and desires of your wife and family before yourself. 2. Self-sacrifice 3. Being spontaneous. 4. Doing acts of love and kindness.

Girls love it when men make sacrifices, and do things for them and the children, rather than for themselves. They love to be surprised with little acts of love.

Look at the sacrifices Joseph made for Mary and the Child Jesus. When they were headed to Bethlehem for the census, they walked about about 8 hours per day, perhaps 20 miles a day. Joseph walked the entire distance, while Mary, 9 months pregnant, rode on a donkey, which wasn't easy either. Joseph sacrificed going from Inn to another, enduring rejection, until he the found a cave with animals. Tired from the 5 day journey Joseph, didn't just sit and rest. Because the cave stunk from animal manure, he cleaned it. He fetched water and laid straw on the ground for Mary to lay. The manger had drool from animals who ate from it. So Joseph cleaned it before the Babe was laid in it.

Often times, when couples are married about 25 years, the feeling of love experienced at the beginning of marriage sometimes disappears. But, we have to remember, love is not about feelings. Feelings can fool us. So, what is love? Love is sacrifice. Sometimes there are no joyful feelings when making sacrifices. Jesus didn't feel love when He carried His Cross. He didn't feel love hanging from the Cross. But, the sacrifices He made for us, especially His suffering and dying on the Cross were His greatest acts of love.

For men to show love, they need to make sacrifices for their wives and children. Choosing their needs and desires before yours. If the wife wants to eat out, while he wants to watch a football game, he silently chooses to eat out. If she wants spaghetti for dinner, rather than eating steak, he silently chooses spaghetti.

It takes sacrifice for men to be the spiritual leader of the family. Men and women are completely equal, but men have always been considered the spiritual leaders of the family. That is why the angel appeared to Joseph in a dream to take Mary and the Child into Egypt. The angel didn't appear to Mary. God wanted Joseph to be the one who would protect the holy family. God wanted Joseph, a sinner, to lead Mary, who was sinless. God wanted Joseph to be the foster father of Jesus, the Son of God, the Father.

Men, it is your duty to lead the family spiritually. When I first came to Holy Trinity, a good number of high school students had only been to confession once or twice since their first confession in second grade. That is why we now have Confession during PSR, because fathers fail to bring their children to Confession as they ought. Men, bring your family to Confession once a month. They first see your example, and then you tell them to come with you to Confession. It takes humility, sacrifice and prayer to be the spiritual leader of your family.

Men, it is your duty to make time every night for your family to pray before bed. It only takes 5 minutes. Gather the family together and then each family member mentions one thing they want to pray for, and one thing they thankful for. Close with an Our Father, Hail Mary and Glory Be. Eventually pray the Rosary together. It's not as difficult as you think. Be consistent every day and will become routine.

Bring your children to daily Mass. Every Wednesday, we have Mass at 6:30pm. Some youth, on their own, come to the 7am Mass, and have time for breakfast before school. Bring your children to adoration. Several high school youth signed up for a weekly holy hour. There are younger children to who come adoration regularly.

Each married couple should have a regular date night. At least once a month, ask grandparents or someone to care of the children, while mom and dad go out for the evening.

Men it takes planning on your part to do something romantic. Don't tell her in advance what you are doing for her. To the wife, it will seem spontaneous. What appears to be spontaneous for her is planned by you. For example, on occasion, give her flowers, or a small present.

I'm going to give an example what most couples can't afford, but you can adapt the idea to do something that would be more affordable or easier. I give this example to couples I prepare for marriage.

First, tell your wife, a month in advance, not to plan anything for a specific weekend. When she gets off of work that Friday, tell her grandma and grandpa are going to take care of the kids for weekend. You ask her to pack a suitcase for the weekend and then you drive her to the Wichita airport. The plane ticket says Atlanta. She says, "Oh that's exciting, what are we going to do there?" And you say, "You'll see." Once at Atlanta, you give her ticket to Florida. She states, "Oh, honey, I have always wanted to go to Florida! What are we doing there? He states, "You'll see." When you arrive at the hotel, you ask her to unpack and get dressed for a night out, and then tell her, that you will be back in about 30 min.

When you return, you and your wife go to restaurant with her favorite food. After the order is placed, suddenly a man comes to your table and sings her favorite song, causing her tear up, and say, "O sweetheart this is so special." After dinner, the couple walks on the boardwalk holding hands gazing at the moon. At the end of the boardwalk, they remove their shoes and walk barefoot in the sand. Suddenly, he notices a bag sticking out of the sand. He opens it, and its her favorite bottle of wine, with two glasses. She said, "Oh darling, you must have hid that there earlier". After sipping wine, they return to the hotel and.....go to bed....

In the morning, they take a taxi to St. Augustine, Florida, and attend Mass at the oldest historical Catholic Church in the United States. They return to the hotel for breakfast and then depart on the plane back to Kansas.

She noticed how he planned everything for her: her favorite food, serenading with her favorite song, her favorite wine, going to Mass, walking down the boardwalk gazing at the full moon. She notices his self-sacrifice, not thinking about anything for himself.

After I gave this example to couples who I prepared for marriage, one young man planned a getaway to Colorado for a weekend, not telling her where they were going. Another couple went on camping at her favorite lake.

My friends look to the Holy Family and ask them to help your family to be a family that prays together and makes sacrifices for each other. And men ask Joseph to help you to be romantic, so that your wife's eyes glisten and she will walk with a happy skip because her heart is filled with joy due to the love you show for her and the children.

And don't be surprised, if she begins to make beautiful sacrifices for you.

O Holy Family, Jesus, Mary and Joseph, help all families to grow in love for each other, make sacrifices for each other and truly become holy families. Amen.