Boys and men are not the only ones who can struggle with pornography and impure actions, so can girls and adult women. Those who view pornography and commit acts of impurity, think no one knows. But God sees and God wants to help. “But I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lustful intent has already committed adultery with her in his heart.” (Matthew 5:28)
The Virgin Mary told Saint Jacinta Marto, one of the three children who had visions of the Virgin Mary, “More souls go to Hell because of sins of the flesh than for any other reason.” She also warned, “Certain fashions will be introduced that will offend Our Lord very much.” And she issued a direct warning to women, saying: “Woe to women lacking in modesty.” And also: “Let men avoid greed, lies, envy, blasphemy, impurity.”
Our Lady of Good Success, an approved apparition at Quito, Ecuador said, “In those times the atmosphere will be saturated with the spirit of impurity which, like a filthy sea, will engulf the streets and public places with incredible license…” “Innocence will scarcely be found in children, or modesty in women.” “There shall be scarcely any virgin souls in the world. The delicate flower of virginity will seek refuge in the cloisters…” “Without virginity, fire from heaven will be needed to purify these lands…” “Sects, having permeated all social classes, will find ways of introducing themselves into the very heart of homes to corrupt the innocence of children.”
Many parents fail to watch over their children, who at a very young age begin to view pornography on tablets, phones and computers and then become addicted while in high school or even younger. Oh, the responsibility of parents! For the love of God parents, please pay attention to your children and what they are watching. If you care for their physical well being, how much more important to care for the spiritual well being. If you want them to succeed in academics and sports, how more should you want them to succeed in their love of God and the practice of virtue? “One study found that 90% of children ages 8 to 16 have viewed pornography online.” (Covenant Eyes) TALK to your children about it.
To regain purity can take a long time, but some saints, like Augustine, by a single act of grace received it immediately and maintained it the rest of their life.
Alessandro Serenelli, a 19-year-old man, made advances toward eleven year old Saint Maria Gorretti and then stabbed her 14 times. She forgave him before she died. Some biographers stated he read a great deal of pornography. He was arrested, put into prison and remained unrepentant for 8 years, until one night he had a dream in which he saw Maria, in a field of flowers, holding out white lilies to him. After his release from prison, he eventually became a Capuchin Franciscan. Lilies represent purity.
Why do some statues of St. Joseph depict him holding a staff in his hand with a lily blossoming out of it? There is a tradition that when it came time for the Blessed Virgin Mary, at the age of 14 to be married, there were several suitors seeking Her hand. Each had their own staff and at the request of the priest, wrote their name on their staff. During the prayer service offered by the priest, Joseph’s staff immediately burst into bloom with fragrant white lilies, indicating he was the one chosen by God. St. Joseph is known for his purity. "The just man shall blossom like the lily" is applied to St. Joseph in the liturgy for his feast day, March 19, St. Joseph, Spouse of Mary. Praying to St. Joseph, the most chaste spouse of the Virgin Mary, will greatly give strength to overcome impure temptations. The book Consecration to St. Joseph by Fr. Don Calloway has helped many men to become pure.
For those who would like to break the habit of pornography and/or impurity, here are some helpful suggestions:
1. Confess your sins once a week. Don’t wait until you commit a mortal sin to go to Confession, rather confess lustful thoughts, temptations to do actions of impurity (the thought occurs to do an impure action, and the mind begins to embrace the thought is when the temptation becomes a sin). If one turns away from the temptation and doesn’t fall, it is important to confess the venial sins of lust, and desire to to do an impure action, etc… Come to confession immediately after a fall. Don’t wait. The longer you wait, the more you will be tempted to not go to Confession and maybe tempted to do another impure action. Confession first and foremost washes away the sin, but Confession also gives the penitent graces to over come sins. So the more frequently one confesses, the less one will commit mortal sin. If you commit a mortal sin, don’t receive Commumion, unless you first go to Confession. Saint Padre Pio suggested that everyone go to Confession weekly. Confession helps us to overcome sin, to grow in virtue and to be more sorry for having committed sins. Despite frequent falls, keep coming to Confession, manly take up your Cross and persevere. Don’t give up. If you fall, don’t lose heart. Jesus understands how difficult it is for you to pull out of a long habit. Over time, and with His help and grace, Jesus will slowly free you. It took time to develop the habit and it will take time to give up the habit. You can be free and you will someday be free. Trust Jesus. It takes work and you can do it!
2. Trust Jesus! The devil will first try to convince you to do an impure action, then he will make you feel shameful after you have committed it. He will try to get you to lose hope and by shame will try to keep you from trusting Jesus and try to prevent you from going to Confession.
3. Attend daily Mass and receive Holy Communion as often as possible. Receive Jesus in the Eucharist only in the state of grace. Pray a weekly Holy Hour or daily Holy Hour if you are able. Come and spend time in the church praying before Jesus in the tabernacle.
4. Wear a Crucifix, Scapular, Miraculous Medal and St. Benedict Medal. Have them blessed by a priest.
5. Every night before retiring, pray three Hail Marys in honor of Mary’s purity and ask Mary for the gift of purity. St. Alphonsus Ligouri said those who keep this devotion will always become pure.
6. The quicker one turns away from the temptation, the easier it is to overcome it. When a lustful thought first enters the mind, or as soon as the idea begins to tempt one to look at pornography or to do an impure action, immediately turn your mind on something pleasurable, but non-sinful (such as ice-cream or chocolate cake), and simultaneously pray audibly, an Our Father or Hail Mary. You will see the thought immediately vanish, because most likely it was an evil spirit tempting you.
7. Regularly avoid eating sweets and drinking pop. Stay away from foods and drinks labeled “sugar free”, but actually have alcohol sugars in them. For some men, chocolate can cause impure thoughts.
8. Deny yourself instant gratifications. When a thought for pop or candy first come to mind, don’t have them. Eating snacks can cause the will to be weakened and so one can’t turn away from sin as easy as one who mortifies his or her desires. When thirsty, make yourself wait a few minutes before drinking water, or when it is hot, wait to turn on the air conditioner. Make yourself wait for things. These small non-sinful self-denials can be very helpful in not following through with sinful gratifications.
9. Fast on bread and water (or however you are able fast) twice a week. By fasting regularly, it is much easier to overcome sinful temptations. Our Lord said, “...this kind can only come out through prayer and fasting.” (Matthew 17:21)
10. The primary motivation for growing in purity is love. First, we love Jesus so much, we want to avoid hurting Him. By meditating on His scourging at the pillar, we can see how we participated in it. Second, we are to love our neighbor, by seeking what is best for those who have allowed their bodies to be used in an impure way. We should view girls who have allowed themselves to be photographed immodestly as sisters in Christ. We refuse to look at their bodies for our own pleasure, and will pray and fast for them regularly, because we truly love them and want them to be in heaven someday.
11. Consecrate yourself and your purity to the Hearts of Jesus and Mary and consecrate yourself to St. Joseph, Mary’s most chaste spouse. Develop a tender love and devotion to the Blessed Virgin Mary, Virgin Most Pure.
12. Avoid occasions of sin. Get rid of television. Avoid movies and YouTube videos with improper content. Install image blockers on your phone and computer. Use Covenant Eyes for the protection of yourself and your children. https://www.covenanteyes.com or www.catholicinrecovery.com
13. When an addiction has developed, evil spirits can use our emotions to convince us to sin. But, we can pray deliverance prayers and cleansing prayers to protect us. Daily pray the St. Michael prayer and the Guardian Angel Prayer. These prayers as well as the Our Father and Hail Mary should especially be prayed when we are tempted. Daily pray a deliverance prayer and Cleansing Prayer. See below.
14. Daily pray the Holy Rosary as many as you are able in one day, perhaps 3 or 4 rosaries. Several men including Gabriel Castillo and Fr. Don Calloway say that those who pray 3 or 4 Rosaries a day will become free of pornography and impure actions. The frequent praying of the Rosary, especially the sorrowful mysteries, will lead to greater holiness and leave behind sin and impurity. The Rosary is THE weapon against evil and temptation. Mary will enter the battle for us and crush the head of the serpent.
15. Accountability Partner. “For some it is helpful to ask a friend to help you to be accountable. In Proverbs 27:17 we read “Iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another.” I believe this refers to the value of support and accountability. In my work I with men struggling with pornography, I usually recommend they find accountability partners. This is needed to help achieve and maintain healthy sobriety. Many ask me who can be a suitable accountability partner.” Dr. Peter Kleponis
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